Another year that goes by, while many take only a few moments to ponder about the year even more so go about it like any other day. 2009 was a year of great challenges and a great year for smart investors, since everything was on sale, it was a year where many lost their job, while others founded lucrative businesses, the lost of a love, the discovery of an authentic love. Perhaps one of the reason that separates one group from the other is that the latter sets intentions and is always in gratitude.

7.1 things you can do to start 2010 with a BANG

1. Gratitude list: Write down all the things that you are grateful for in 2009.

2. Accomplishment list: Write down your biggest accomplishments in 2009

3. Write down the important lessons that 2009 brought you and how you would translate that into actions in 2010

4. What are your biggest fears going into 2010 and write down three possible solutions if they appear.

5. Write down your intentions for 2010 followed by three action steps for the three most important.

6. Write down who you spent the most time with in 2009 and evaluate if those relationship will bring you towards your intentions in 2010.

7. Wheel of life: Is a great tool to asses the different parts of your life. Taking inventory and calibrating is an important part of life design. Mind tools has a great post and tool to make it easier Wheel Of Life

7.1 Pass it on: teach and encourage those close to you to do the same

How many times do you continue to try to accomplish something yet can’t seem to get it done.  You feel the resistance every time you get up and try it again hoping that finally you will achieve and reap that reward you’ve been striving for. The swimming Paradox is an additional tool you can add to your tool belt to make it all happen.

When I started out in Sales the most difficult thing for me to do was cold calling.  It was such a nightmare each day to pick up the phone, gather up all my energy to make one call, after it was all said and done, now I had to do it again. Can you imagine that? To take some of the daily stress and take my mind of the day  I decided to learn to swim, and it is how the Swimming Paradox came about. After I applied that in my daily cold calling, it stopped being a burden and started meeting some interesting people and having great conversations..

The basics mechanics of fundamental swimming are simple yet the human mind has a condition that it does not understand simplicity.  As humans there is a physiological perspective that if it is simple it doesn’t work.  It has to be harder then that, otherwise everyone would be doing it.

Just as swimming most novice swimmers understanding that they must stretch each stroke long and hard, constant foot propulsion, and rapid movement to stay afloat and make it to the other side.  That couldn’t be further then the truth, the paradox comes with the fact that in order to be a good swimmer there is only one key ingredient that MUST be in effect at all times.

To be RELAXED.

You see if you are tense as you swim it constricts the muscles make them full of blood, you take short breaths which in turn make you less buoyant. This now leads you to sink, and as response you start to condition your body to try to create more movement to stay afloat which brings over oxygenation, more energy consumption and fail miserably.  Now consider the alternative.

You relax, you then take longer smoother breaths which fill your lungs and abdomen with air that now makes you more buoyant, automatically you now float.  You now have no need to continue to kick hard to stay afloat, the legs barely move, each stroke enters the water in calm relaxed state you are with the water rather then fighting it. The result: a graceful swim.

Think about this, there has been a myth about piranhas actually attacking human beings in the water.  National Geographic’s did a study and what they discovered is that piranhas WILL actually attack any object in the water that looks as if it is struggling and agitated including humans.  If someone is calm and relaxed in river full of piranhas the will not be attacked.

Next time you find your self in a situation that you might be struggling with, take a breath and ask your self. If I was in a river full of piranhas, in the current state that I am in now will I be attacked? How can I relax in what I am doing now? How can I create a space for me to let go?  It will take practice, bad habits take time to adjust but after that, it’s all smooth swimming.

ACTION STEP:

Write on a post it somewhere you feel the most anxiety “How can I maintain a relaxed state of mind right now?

Take 5 Mins from your day to be still and calm your mind.

If you’ve ever considered learning to swim i highly suggest This DVD and This Book

Have you been in a situation where the person you are with simply does not understand you.  Perhaps they don’t say they love you as much as you would like to hear or simply they just do not show it.

I had a friend who I considered was close to me yet every time I went up to her to give her a hug or said something endearing, she simply turned away and ignored it, that made me feel that perhaps she was not such close of a friend as I thought. Then I learned this strategy that I’m about to share with you, and within just 2 weeks, it went from a “blah” relationship to great friendship.  This proven technique is taken from a accelerated communication language it will create a stronger bond with any type of relationship, whether its romantic, family or friends and it works every time! Imagine being able to create that type of connection.

How does it work?

Every experience of our world is expressed on to others via the language we use, by utilizing certain language structures we can create in others the experience we are looking to convey in them.  The first step is to understand how other people receive and interpret the world, then we can tailor our communication to match theirs.  By understanding and putting in practice this principal it will open the door of your relationships into a different dimension.

People understand affection and love in three different ways.

a) Auditory:

Tell me you love me again! This person is more likely auditory; they understand affection by hearing certain combination of words expressed with a certain tonality and a certain timber. You can hold them and buy them things all you want however unless you tell them they won’t interpret it as such. These people tend to talk in auditory predicts such as:  “Does that ring a bell”, “That sounds about right”, “Sounds good to me”.  You’re likely to see them with an Mp3 player every where, and sing the lyrics to every song.

b) Visual:

Why don’t you ever buy me anything or take me out enough? These types of people like to be given cards, brought flowers, wined and dinned.  A small Post-It with the words “I miss you” or “I’m happy to have you in my life” go a looonnggg way with visual people. They tend to talk in visual predicts such as: “I can see what you mean”, “Can you paint a picture for me”, “What would that look like”, “I’m a big picture person”. They are likely to always be well dressed even to go walk their dog, or just to be around the house.

c) Kinesthetic:

I am your classic example of kinesthetic I am all about feeling, you can tell me you love me all you want and buy me all the gifts however that won’t tell me how much they care until they touch me a certain way, hugged, kissed or a simple holding of hands. They tend to talk in feeling predicts such as: “That feels right to me”, “I’m not sure how I feel about that”, “I like how that feels”. They are all about comfort, they rater wear their favorite shirt every where because it just feels soooo good rather then sacrifice look for comfort.

How to elicit someone’s strategy:

To find out how someone interprets their world in the context of love and affection is very simple. It consists of a two parts.

1. You say: I read today about a way that people can learn each others love strategies to improve the quality of their relationships, lets give a try ok?

What this does is pre-frame it, so they understand where the question is coming from and grant permission to be be fully engaged.

2. Then you ask: Can you think of a time you felt truly, truly loved either by a partner, a parent a friend. Let me know when you have it.  Ok now as you go back to that time was it something they said, something they did? or did they touch you in any way in particular?

A lot of people will say all three. If that is the case you say to them: A lot of people feel the same way now which one of those you feel more connected to?

After you have elicited their strategy share with them how this all works and what is your strategy and how you understand affection.  Now when you want to communicate affection to them do so in their language, in their interpretation of the world and ask them to do the same.

And see your relationships grow.

Now go out there and experiment with it.  Come back and post a comment on how it worked out.

Elance Service

Tired of having to do the same old routine, tasks of business or projects day after day. Like email, finding leads, writing articles or reviews? What if you could free up that time to do the things that produce the most results. Meet the world of Virtual assistants.

As an example one of the businesses I am involved in is distributing high end technology, I had spend tons of time looking for leads until I found a way via social media to produce an endless amount of leads. Once I perfected the system I recorded my proven method via a screen recorder. I then forward it to the virtual assistants and presto next day I had 210 new leads waiting for me, who are qualified, use the product and have a need.
How is that for lead generation? How much did it cost me? $50 bucks. The time I save I reinvest it on the 20% of activities that produce results.

This of course brings up the debate if hiring people over seas is good for the economy?
My personal philosophy is that if someone is excellent and goes above and beyond to produce the best product, service or information. They can never be outsourced, someone might try however that person has established himself as a leader and expert of his field.
And it forces people to raise the bar, if people choose a profession because its easy and repetitive that even a monkey can do it, what does it say about them?
Step up, make a difference and get noticed.

Enough of that topic, and down to the details.
I’ve tried several different resources however I have found that Elance has provided the most value to me. First, because experts bid each other on getting the job. You’ll have complete choice of who you do business with, read reviews of each expert and even see sample projects.
Currently I have hired virtual assistants to do web development, article writing, market research, lead generation, and I keep coming up with things that I can free my time.
How much is it? It depends on the job, however in my experience if you use the extra time wisely not only will it pay for itself, it will triple your business.
The best way to know if something really works is to experiment with it, it is via experimentation that failure is impossible.